that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
