it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize