I think im going to throw up on grandma
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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