So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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