: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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