Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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