..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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