you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
