It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
