Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry schervone hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(432): View more from Texas

the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel

Fav 18 3766 1549
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl

Fav 5 2840 1243
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

Fav 45 2273 4232
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

Fav 27 3089 1724
share tweet
(636): View more from Missouri

He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

(314): View more from Missouri

That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

Fav 34 7532 2364
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.

Fav 5 2581 1246
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

Fav 3 949 2168
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.

Fav 1 30 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair

Fav 0 36 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT