are you still at the devil's house?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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