Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
