I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
