it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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