bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
