Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize