Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you had me at cake vodka
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
