clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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