I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Boobs are out for the taking
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
