Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
