Do vagina's smell?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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