feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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