if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
