HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Damn victory sex feels great
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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