I wannas sexs uuuuu
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you had me at cake vodka
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
