bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
