glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He better not be in your backpack
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
