im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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