Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
