please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
COCAINE IS GR8
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
