Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
