they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
