He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
