Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize