Your mouth is God's brothel.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
