i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
