Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize