If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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