he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
