He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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