i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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