Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
