We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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