blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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