How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
