I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
