she kept yelling 'call me bella'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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