how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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