we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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