piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize