He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
