i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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