If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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