i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
