and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You can't just leave with hair like that
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
