just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
