I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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