Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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