did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She's the barista slut.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's always time for handjobs
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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